Other ways to say "disconnected"

Background: While doing my undergraduate work at Northland College in Ashland, WI (http://www.northland.edu/), I had the pleasure of working for the Alumni Phonathon Team -- first as a caller, then as a Supervisor. Yes, these are the people who call you after you have graduated and ask for donations to your alma mater. Please be kind to them, it's not an easy job. In fact, my co-supervisor April & I had trouble keeping callers from year-to-year, but we had a few "lifers" in our ranks. Andre was one of them.

Recipe for an average call night: Start with a pinch of nice people who give you money. Toss in a sprinkling of "I'll think about it" folks, a peck of "No's" peppered with the occasional "They died" and smothered with wrong or disconnected numbers. Such is the life of a Phonathoner -- disconnected & wrong numbers come with the territory, and are recorded on the data sheet so that some poor schmuck can try to locate these "missing" alumni.

For some reason, Andre seemed to get more than his fair share of disconnects, and apparently got tired of simply writing "Disconnected" on the data sheets, so he came up with more . . . creative ways of expressing the situation. Some are funnier than others, but all are bona fide Andre:

Contrary to popular belief, a blonde rue is actually butter and sautee'd flour -- disconnected.

Goldenrod chrysanthemums in Asia open in the cool morning mist not to suffice the gentle honeybee's thirst, but to welcome the glistening morning dew.. no longer lives here.

The merenbooty girls of the secretive Dfuego tribe deep in the jungles of Southeastern culmierno, Cuba religiously abstain from phone use. But in the U.S. we use telephones, and when the number doesn't work, we Americans say it is DISCONNECTED.

The rabbit looked into the mouth of the red fox and said "I am hungry." This number is DISCONNECTED.

As long as staples exists there will always be doughnuts, just as this number is DISCONNECTED.
On the Saronghetti Plains of Dahoma, Africa, the Mfikwe people say "Anandalale" to refer to phone numbers, like this one, that have been DISCONNECTED.

As the great Boll Weevil gives thanks to the humble cotton plant, this number is DISCONNECTED.

The majestic Killer Whale longs to feast on the supple flesh of a baby lamb, just as the human ear wishes to feast on the static tones of the phone operator when the number is DISCONNECTED.

The Lowly Maggot lives not for the glaring eyes of the red robin, but for the tender kiss of the rotting flesh. This number is DISCONNECTED.

An Asian Woman by the name of Mac Lal Nhong lives her, she says This is the wrong number.

The Locust said to the gorilla, "Ah, you fly in many circles, my friend" DISCONNECTED.

In space, deer can't eat grass. It causes their brains to become DISCONNECTED.

The Mombfasu tribe of Eastern New Guinea Considers on Ebola infected male to be "infutus", which means DISCONNECTED in the states.

If you dip apple slices in lemon juice, they won't turn brown. If you dip a disconnected phone in lemon juice, then, like this number it's DISCONNECTED.

Famous Dave makes BBQ sauce so good it'll make you slap yo mamma!! DISCONNECTED.

As the east winds howl to the moon forlornly. I too howl in sadness. For this number is DISCONNECTED.

The boy looked at his father and said "Father, What is the way of the world?" The father said, "Shutup boy, this number is DISCONNECTED."

The Upanishad people of Chad, Africa habitually roast the housepets of villagers without phone lines. If this was Chad, the same would be said for this family because this number is DISCONNECTED.

Beer is 13 times more radioactive than the water released from the cooling tanks at nuclear power plants. That's why this number is DISCONNECTED.

Alison no longer lives here, this is a WRONG NUMBER. However, the gentleman who picked up the phone didn't tell me this until AFTER he hit on me several times.

In many Nordic cultures, the elk is seen as a sacred animal. However, in America, we shoot Elk and cease to call numbers that are DISCONNECTED.

Take her off the lists. (Break it down) Taker her off the lists (What?What?)

Well, I do say, as sure as the Queen of England has the image of two ponies stamped on her bum, this is the WRONG NUMBER, and neither of these people live here!

The sun rises in the East and sets in the West, but the wise owl flies North for his home is deserted, as is the other end of this phone line, for this number is DISCONNECTED.

The Rashpetlikt people of Burkina Faso do the tribal Choumat'ongo dance everytime a telephone contact is cut in the West, as this one was, since the number is DISCONNECTED.

When the fates are in unison, babies don't cry at night, dogs don't bark while you sleep, and phone lines always pick up. Unfortunately, the fates are not in unison, and this phone number is DISCONNECTED.

As the mighty flame yearns for a log on which to burn, this caller too, yearns for a voice on the other end of the line to speak with, but alas, this number is DISCONNECTED.

The Flying Orchid sect of Guangchov, China. Uses focused Chi-Fuswahp acupuncture for discipline on the telephone. Without this discipline, their members numbers would be disconnected.

In Frankfurt, Germany, the secretive organization Sprechen zie Glotsfausen worship their nation's telephone calls out of the country -- especially when the numbers are DISCONNECTED, like this one.

The delicate aroma of the wild forest orchid lingers in the air, just as the lost voices of yesteryear linger in the void that is time, for this number is DISCONNECTED.

As the mockingbird rests on the mighty oak branches and the pomegranate is kissed by the morning dew, this number is DISCONNECTED.

For a Natural Resources Major, he has a way with words, and I wish him the best!